The whole family has tumbled back into the car for the drive home, everyone is buckled in and then the question comes,
‘What did you learn today in Kids’ Church?’
The intention is good. It’s great for families to be discussing what they are learning but I’m sure many parents will know that this question is often not terribly successful at generating a helpful conversation. It’s met with grunts, ‘I don’t know’ or a totally unrelated comment about something else (‘I’m hungry’).
Sometimes there are ‘Take home’ questions suggested in the service handout or a parent might look at a colouring page or craft item and ask a more specific question. But our emphasis is almost always on what new knowledge has been acquired.
Learning new things about God and our faith is a really important part of growing up as a follower of Jesus. But it’s not the whole. Faith is an ‘all-of-life’ thing. Not just ‘head’ knowledge, but ‘heart’ and ‘hands’ as well. Always focusing on one aspect can lead to a lopsided faith.
What questions could families discuss on the way home from church? Here are a few suggestions.
1. Who did you encourage today?
I love this question because it assumes that children are capable, contributing members of the church community and that church is a place where everyone is seeking to encourage each other.
This the kind of question that could be introduced following teaching about church vision, what church is, from an Epistle and likely other passages as well. It will take time for children and teens to start thinking of what they do at church from this perspective. Yes, welcoming that new kid was a great encouragement, to him and to his family! Yes, inviting Pete to join your game with Sarah was a way to encourage and serve others! Yes, talking to old Mrs Jones at morning tea was encouraging, for her and for all who saw that happen!
2. Who are you thankful for?
This question can go in a number of directions and all of them are good. A child might be thankful for Moses, that he obeyed God even though he felt inadequate (Exodus 3-4). Or, they might be thankful for their friends at church or their leaders. Whether it’s people in church, from the Bible, or even Jesus himself, thankfulness is a good habit to grow.
Parents and carers can model responses to this too by talking about people they have spoken to at church or news that was shared about acts of service during the week, or the sermon.
3. What did you learn about God? What were you reminded about God today?
Often it is hard to change our default questions. Sometimes we can tweak it just a little to focus the question a little more helpfully. ‘What did you learn about God?’ rather than the very broad general ‘What did you learn?’ gives a particular focus for children to reflect on. It suggests that it is not just stories from long ago that we are learning about at church, but about God, who is with us now, just as he was with his people in all those stories.
For kids or youth that have ‘heard it all before’, asking what they were reminded about can be a helpful way to acknowledge that they do already know a lot. There is always more to learn and it is often in depth of understanding as they grow as well as just acquiring new bible facts.
4. What can we pray about after today?
This is another question that might need an introduction and some getting used to. After hearing from God through his word, it is good and right to respond in prayer. This might look like asking for help, ‘Please help me grow in generosity’, or prayer for another, ‘Please give our missionaries courage,’ or thankfulness or praise.
It’s great to be motivated and inspired to change our behaviour and speech after reading about the fruit of the Spirit or similar (Galatians 5:22-23). But instead of simply ‘trying harder’, it’s good to ask for God to be at work in our hearts growing these fruits of the Spirit. Ask for growth and change, ask for help in remembering that during each day. We can’t do it in our own strength. Wouldn’t it be great if we raised our children to always be turning to God in prayer first as they seek to obey and follow Jesus?
These are my new ‘Take home’ question suggestions. Which one do you like?
